Before I officially came out of the atheist closet I did have an experience with homeopathy, it was also my last shred of hope that there might be a god.
I had a cat that I loved soo much. She was the best cat in the world. She was about 7 years old and I was expecting to get at least 6 more years with her. Well she had been losing weight gradually when I had moved into my husbands house but nothing to be alarmed about. Months had passed and one day I noticed that she wasn’t eating as much and I thought ok well maybe her teeth hurt because I knew they were really bad. So I took her in to get her teeth cleaned and when i got her back home she ate very little and then nothing the following few days. I started freaking out and trying to figure out what I could do to help her without spending tons of money because we had no money. My husband had a client that had done research on pet foods and was also a homeopath. I contacted her and she advised me to start feeding her raw food. With nothing working my husband and I decided to ask her about homeopathy. I was so blinded in trying to get my cat healthy again that I told her we would try anything she suggested.
We tried about 5 different ‘remedies’ and each time I would ask this gal “Ok what can i expect to happen?” Her response was always the same: “It could either help her perk up, do nothing, or help her in the dying process.” Ok at this point after getting the same response after the 2nd time I asked this, I was thinking “well those are the same things that could happen everytime I go to bed. 3 things can happen: I could wake up feeling fantastic, wake up feeling just the same as when I went to bed, or I could not wake up” hmmm. But I was so blinded that I still had hope homeopathy was going to work.
In the end it didn’t. I made the decision to put her down because she wasn’t getting any better. She was yellow and skinny. It was so sad. I put her down on July 1st this year.
I am still so mad that I didn’t get the other 6 years I should have had with her. I’m so mad I bought into homeopathy. I’m so mad that I bought into the idea that she would be waiting for me on the other side when really she wont be. I am happy though that she wont miss me, even though I miss her so much. I’m happy that she isn’t hurting. I’m happy that my friends didn’t try to tell me that homeopathy was just a load of crap when I was going through this. I probably wouldn’t have listened. This experience was honestly the last shred of hope that I had in order to prove to myself that there might be a god. I prayed so hard to have some kind of sign that if he was there that he would save my favorite cat. There was no sign. He didn’t save her. He wasn’t there when I put her down and cried for her to wake up hoping that the medicine didn’t effect her.
It’s true that I have always been skeptical of there being a god, but this experience proved it to me. I did cling onto the hope for years that there might be. I called myself an Agnostic during that time. I kept praying and searching, but it was all pointless during this. I did hold onto that last hope, but in the end it made no difference to pray to the christian god or to zeus. Neither were there. So to say I became an atheist over night is a lie. I tried so hard to believe for years, but it never came to anything.
RIP Beezwax 7/1/11
Color Me Atheist 