Everyday I think to myself “maybe today I will make this big announcement saying what I am” I play it over and over in my head but then I really start thinking about it and get scared about what others will say. I’ve been thinking about it so much that last night all of my dreams consisted of me coming out to loved ones. In those dreams everyone accepted it and was fine with it, some even asked questions.
I really do want to just want to sent out a mass text or post something on facebook or calling my family to tell them. But I really am scared. The people who I have told have been fine with it so far. I want so much for my family to ask me because once I tell them I know I’ll feel better.
When my husband and I were getting ready to go to TAM i told my dad about it and said it was a big skeptics conference. He thought it would be fun to make jokes like “I’m skeptical it’ll even happen.” It kind of hurt when he said that even thoughI really hadn’t come to the realization that I was atheist just yet. My family at least thinks I’m agnostic because I told them I was a few years ago. they were fine with it.
For the past year I have been a member on a campground board for the church I’ve been a member of my whole life. a few weeks ago I gave my resignation because I can no longer be part of a board if I no longer believe what they do. I didn’t tell them the actual reason because I didn’t know how to tell them. I will be finishing out the year and I might tell them then. I will eventually give up my membership with the church, but because it has been such a big part of my life I’m scared to do it plus my family is part of this church.
I’ve been posting links to my blog when I post something new on the facebook group Reno Freethinkers and I guess every time I do it shows up on non members news feed. In a way I hope it’ll show up on my family members feed and they will look at this blog and then ask me what it’s about. But in a way I hope they don’t see it.
I am scared about coming out to them, but I keep thinking that there could be worse things i could tell them. I wouldn’t be bashing their beliefs, i’m just choosing to not believe them.
I went to the last Reno Freethinkers meeting and felt comfortable with the group because I’m not the only one going through this transition and I have people to support me and my husband in this.
Thank you all for reading and commenting on my blog it really does help me in my journey whether you’re atheist or believe in a higher being.