Thoughts on why I’m slowly coming out as an Atheist

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Everyday I think to myself “maybe today I will make this big announcement saying what I am” I play it over and over in my head but then I really start thinking about it and get scared about what others will say.  I’ve been thinking about it so much that last night all of my dreams consisted of me coming out to loved ones.  In those dreams everyone accepted it and was fine with it, some even asked questions.

I really do want to just want to sent out a mass text or post something on facebook or calling my family to tell them.  But I really am scared.  The people who I have told have been fine with it so far.  I want so much for my family to ask me because once I tell them I know I’ll feel better.

When my husband and I were getting ready to go to TAM i told my dad about it and said it was a big skeptics conference.  He thought it would be fun to make jokes like “I’m skeptical it’ll even happen.”  It kind of hurt when he said that even thoughI really hadn’t come to the realization that I was atheist just yet.  My family at least thinks I’m agnostic because I told them I was a few years ago.  they were fine with it.

For the past year I have been a member on a campground board for the church I’ve been a member of my whole life.  a few weeks ago I gave my resignation because I can no longer be part of a board if I no longer believe what they do.  I didn’t tell them the actual reason because I didn’t know how to tell them.  I will be finishing out the year and I might tell them then.  I will eventually give up my membership with the church, but because it has been such a big part of my life I’m scared to do it plus my family is part of this church.

I’ve been posting links to my blog when I post something new on the facebook group Reno Freethinkers and I guess every time I do it shows up on non members news feed.  In a way I hope it’ll show up on my family members feed and they will look at this blog and then ask me what it’s about.  But in a way I hope they don’t see it.

I am scared about coming out to them, but I keep thinking that there could be worse things i could tell them.  I wouldn’t be bashing their beliefs, i’m just choosing to not believe them.

I went to the last Reno Freethinkers meeting and felt comfortable with the group because I’m not the only one going through this transition and I have people to support me and my husband in this.

Thank you all for reading and commenting on my blog it really does help me in my journey whether you’re atheist or believe in a higher being.

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2 responses »

  1. Hi! I was wondering, must your family members know exactly what you believe in? Can’t you just wait until it comes up, because maybe it won’t really come up at all. Faith is a very private matter and yes, it seems that the religious people make it a big deal and judge you by whatever faith it is you are following.

    I was raised Catholic but was never religious. Growing up I had so many friends of different faiths and many of them were so open to hearing about other religions. There is a beauty to all of this that I just couldn’t fully reject their beliefs. I saw beauty in ALL of them.

    Sometimes, I find that not being a part of an organization, you feel that everything is open-ended. This open-endedness doesn’t really have a name. Something that’s unnamed gives feelings of “What do I stand for?” I get caught up in the confusion when I think about it a lot and still can’t choose one “label” for myself. If I must choose a label, I find that Unitarian Universalism allows me to be in between. In between a skeptic and all the religions.

    But beneath all of this, what calms me is the thought that life is to be lived and filled with goodness. If you don’t believe that there is more to life than material existence, then yes, you are an atheist. Which is also a very valid worldview! If you are more spiritual, but don’t fit into a niche, then I would call those free-spirited – which is also a beautiful thing on its own.

    I hope that your family doesn’t give you too much of a hard time. I’m sure each religious text has an excerpt supporting those who are confused. If you find one, maybe give it to them as a reinforcement that “God thinks this is perfectly normal”.

    • Hey!!! I have thought about just letting it come up on it own (which is probably what I’m going to do), but at the same time I feel like I have a secret and I HAVE to tell (i never could keep a secret) because it’ll help me feel like I don’t have such a heavy weight.

      To me being an atheist is that i get to make my own decisions concerning my life and that my fate isn’t predetermined by a higher being. I think we only have this one life to live. I find it highly unlikely that when I die my ‘soul’ will still go on. I don’t believe that there is a heaven or a hell.

      I’m with you that life should be filled with goodness. But I’m not doing good things just to make nice with a god. I do good to people because I want to.

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